i’ll sleep under your bed at night
i snore but you can turn on music to drown me out
let me in, i’ll make your breakfast every morning
you don’t have to touch me just acknowledge that i am there from time to time
∞ May 26, 2012 at 06:01pm
but after all is said and done
i want to be what you think of
when you’re looking for something
or the words that left your tongue
the feeling that you lost something
but you can’t remember what
∞ May 26, 2012 at 12:56am
but it’s fun. but it good to get out.
“pictures say a thousand words”
but what i’m not telling you
is that we didn’t say a single thing to
each other for 25 minutes
and my replies were “yeah”
and that feeling in my gut
like if i stood up
my chest would drop to my knees
and my head hurt
from clenching my eyes shut
social interaction makes me want to fucking cry
and i play it off
as a lovely evening and a good angle of me
with that dear friend
on a long road
under stars
and silence
∞ May 24, 2012 at 12:27am
mixtape
came across that letter
wondering how your dad is
hoping you’re doing well
hope that job works
hope that pang in your stomach
is dead and gone
hoping your worries have been washed
hope that cloud is gone
hope you’re not thinking of me
there shouldn’t be any more room left
for dead weight in that life of yours
∞ May 23, 2012 at 11:14pm
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
Brick Homes
growing fear as fires rage across the mid west.
growing panic as nothing that the airplanes and trucks do can stop it.
growing chaos as the winds come from all angles, from all directions. and carry the fires across every imaginary border.
there is no explanation. and there doesn’t need to be one.
the smoke and ash will fill every lung and poison every well.
some wander through streets and mourn and cry.
some give up on hope and find the quickest rode out.
i left a few days ago. i started walking with a canteen of mucky water. i’ve had dried blood under my nose for a week.
i stand alone in a charred field i stumbled upon.
twigs and branches and stumps. remains of cherished life and homes.
as all life dies around me i will feel a quite peace that i have never known and will never know again.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
Patching Together
there’s a lot of sewing involved in my life
a lot of patching
grabbing cloth, grabbing string
needles
lots of needles
i rip on everything
i end up getting caught on everything
i leaves bits of my skin laying around every i go
hanging off of hooks and hands
so you understand why i sew so much
why i have so much cloth with me
patching and sewing
and recreating
and connecting
and covering
fixing the best i can
it’s rough
you know
but i learned
i just try not to touch people
it hurts a lot
i dunno how much it hurts me, you see
so much of my time is spent pushing needles in and out of myself
but i know how rough and ugly my skin is to the touch
whats left of my skin
that is
∞ May 22, 2012 at 07:03pm
left your city and your life
i don’t blame you
if i had met me
and fucked me
i would never want to see my face ever again either
i’d put as much distance between me and myself as humanly possible
send me packages of all my shit back
redecorate my room because i know how much i liked how it looked
switch to a different shampoo and conditioner because i loved how my hair felt
different brand of condoms
new taste in music
new shoes
∞ May 22, 2012 at 04:44pm
the inner and outer workings of a screaming child
Thriving insects in my head are building bridges and forts
and they are sending messages two and from each other.
They are creating structures and monuments,
Office buildings and law offices,
Police stations and fire trucks.
They’ve set up shop and they have made families.
They saw at my brain;
kicking nerves and cells and draining blood and biting stems,
taking bits and pieces home with them and replacing them with parts made in their warehouses and shops.
They’ve engraved a message in the back of my eyes.
I see the world with blurry vision
but always right infront of me in plain english is:
“run away from everything that you know”
Where the little fucks learned english is beyond me.
∞ May 21, 2012 at 09:43pm
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
there is a field
it’s gray dirt, crisp and dried
grass
dead
it holds secrets
it holds the dead
it runs for miles
endless it seems or i hope
rolling mountains kiss the field
rising high
falling equally low
falling
falling forever
burnt brush
lavender
gray and ashen
ash rains here
the field takes in the dead
it devours the dead
it devours the ash
the remnants of the sky and trees
air is stale
air is harsh
this endless field holding corpses deep in the soil
holding the secrets to everything
the death of everything
death of everything comes to the field
the hills carry bodies
feeding the field
feeding
secrets
no moisture
no hope
burnt ashen crisp dead and brown
∞ May 21, 2012 at 07:30pm
i’m uncomfortable
Being lost in a city by yourself lets you know, in one of the most perfect scenarios, the reach of your anxieties and fears.
It’s the “They are looking at me.”
“They know i’m lost.”
“I’ve already passed these people.”
“No one cares if I make it home.”
“I’m in their way.”
“They are looking at me.”
The subject of other peoples negative attention, whether it actually exists or not.
“The reason you are alone in this city is because everyone has forgotten about you, and you deserve to be alone”
You look for the safe place, somewhere you have been before but it is closed.
Being alone out there, you’re checking your phone but no one answering you. Everyone is staring at you. Keep hitting one way streets, circling blocks, sweating, stomach dropping. You feel like crying because nothing is ever going to be ok for you because right now you are lost and alone and you have no friends in the world. No part of your life will ever exist outside of that moment. That is everything, and it is destroying everything.
Nothing exists but you standing on a corner shutting you eyes and flinching as people walk by you.
∞ May 21, 2012 at 01:34pm
